Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Food has Lost its Taste

_______________


When God's the only One you've got left...

You'd have all you need.

The time to stop has come.

A fresh new start begins.

Thank you.

_________________


Thursday, October 27, 2011

When It's Time




Time is a funny concept
We think of time as
something long and full of events
taking a long time,
but true enough, there
are also times
when time
stands still and every
other thing that happened;
form one point to the next
is immaterial. Even
if the interval is
months or years,
I only have two points
and what happens in between
Amount to nothing compared
to the distal point
in the timeline
when I saw you again.

Funny 'coz time never really moved.
Of course there are many,
many wonderful things
that happened in between,
but in the final
distillation of events,
I only have these two points;
and time seemed to
freeze in between.
___________________________

__________________________





Applications: Learned Helplessness


The learned helplessness theory of depression connects depressive phenomena to the experience of uncontrollable events. events out of one's control, or situations thought of as beyond ones capability to influence, the person is said to develop a passive behavior and would choose not to do anything anymore because "It's no use anyway".

This theory came from a study with dogs: dogs in a lab were divided into 2 groups, first, the control, which was just put in a cage, then a 2nd group that were caged too and would be intentionally subjected to pain by giving electric shocks, which the dog could end by pressing a lever, and a third group which are wired in parallel with a dog from the 2nd group, receiving shocks of identical intensity and duration, but his lever did not stop the shocks.To them, they were exposed to electric shock, regardless of what they are doing. They would just be treated with the same punishment. It was noticed that when they are placed in a new environment, the shock eventually did not affect the dogs anymore, there will still be the pain from the shock felt, and a physical reaction can still be gotten, but there was no more initiative to avoid the shock. In fact the just stayed put even if they knew they would be electrocuted, even if they could do something about it, they did not move.

Learned Helplessness. On of the theories why abused people don't do anything even if they bled physically and emotionally. In their minds is the idea, as learned from experience, that they are powerless against the abuser. "Anyway, even if I run away they will still find me" or "It doesn't matter, Nothing I do can change anything anyway, so why bother?"

These people succumb to their own helplessness and in effect, hopelessness. It causes people to not even try even when the solution is right in front of them. It's just sad because one might wonder what kind of total abuse could make another person give up his spirit. But this happens all too commonly. Not only in abusive relationships, but even in times when we have tried and tried to no avail. Sad and debilitating.

When we lose touch of our value, we lose the confidence to even try. This becomes a disability in that it limits what we can actually give and do with our lives, because of how we were treated or maltreated as per circumstance, in the past.

May God bless us and give us hope. Maybe it's time for a shift from helplessness to all-encompassing, ever-embracing love.

_________________________

Love always Hopes. Love Never Fails


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I Scrolled Up and God It Hurts!


Curious, I scrolled up
To see what I wrote
And I remembered everything
as I scrolled up.

As I am writing this,
I am scrolling up.
Reading each line
one at a time.

I remember when
I wrote all these. How I'd
delete and rewrite and
delete and rewrite
and smile and cry
and smile, i and pray
and love and smile
and hope and despair
and hope again
and trust and pray
then smile
then hope and love
and love and love.
Then type
then delete and
type, and end
with a song and a
prayer.
Hope.

I came back and you left me.
Well who am I kidding
you were never really there.
But still, as I scroll up,
I realized how purely
I love you.

____________________________

"I am happiest with you."

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I Didn't Know



How much do we really know about anybody? Can we tell what they are feeling, thinking, yearning, searching for after a few talks? a few engagements? How about a lot of talks? a lot of time spent together? Can we really have a clear idea of who a person is and derive a judgment about them even with a lifetime spent together? I don't think so.

What we can only be certain of, I believe, is what I feel, what I think, what I most desire at the moment.

In this concept of the present, I am sure and certain of what I want. Maybe this can be manifested in the smile I have on when I hear your voice, or the deep longing and feeling of missing you when you're out of reach, or the warmth I have in my heart when I know we're good. Or even when I submerge my brain in alcohol just to forget pain, anger, and feeling altogether. And so what if you knew, would you act the same?

If we make judgments before all things happen, and we do, doesn't that make any spontaneity just a waste of time? Can't I just trust the smiles and the warmth, and the peace I feel to say I am where I belong? The answer may either become I didn't know or I don't know. But the real answer lies in the truth experience brings. What I can only trust about you is what I always feel when I am with you. This is my only measure, apart from the infallible guidance of my Sovereign God.

The Sword of the Tongue



Words are powerful aren't they? Especially if they come from the mouth of people important. Be it good or bad, sensitive or not, pleasant or spiteful, there is a lot of meaning in words, especially if they are true but even if they're not.

Of course no one can really read minds, all that can be done is predict and assume. The only way our intentions come across are through what we express. Words are nothing compared to action. I can tell anyone anything. But when words become hurtful swords, they have the capacity to slice through flesh and heart and bone. And there's nothing anyone can do about it because they are words- formed by people to be quantify the fluidity of the mind and emotion so that it can be understood by anyone; clear as day they would become.

What hurts most are sword words that are laced with poison. The poison of insensitivity and condescension. The mockery that a person can drench his or her words with can turn even the sturdiest of hearts into rubble, pulverizing each attempt to reason with words heard because the clarity of the tone and tempo upon which they are spoken betrays any hope for redemption. What has been said can never be unsaid.

Hurtful words, insensitive words, malicious words, or the absence of words when they matter- these can really hack through the heart; especially if they are spoken by someone you love. These words can cripple the heart.

___________________________________________

They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.
Psalms 64:3

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Missing You



you're in my mind again.
I wish I could just rip
your image off my head
so I can hold you tight.
:D