The Food has Lost its Taste

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When God's the only One you've got left...

You'd have all you need.

The time to stop has come.

A fresh new start begins.

Thank you.

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When It's Time

Time is a funny concept

We think of time as

something long and full of events

taking a long time,

but true enough, there

are also times

when time

stands still and every

other thing that happened;

form one point to the next

is immaterial. Even

if the interval is

months or years,

I only have two points

and what happens in between

Amount to nothing compared

to the distal point

in the timeline

when I saw you again.

Funny 'coz time never really moved.

Of course there are many,

many wonderful things

that happened in between,

but in the final

distillation of events,

I only have these two points;

and time seemed to

freeze in between.

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Applications: Learned Helplessness

The learned helplessness theory of depression connects depressive phenomena to the experience of uncontrollable events. events out of one's control, or situations thought of as beyond ones capability to influence, the person is said to develop a passive behavior and would choose not to do anything anymore because "It's no use anyway".

This theory came from a study with dogs: dogs in a lab were divided into 2 groups, first, the control, which was just put in a cage, then a 2nd group that were caged too and would be intentionally subjected to pain by giving electric shocks, which the dog could end by pressing a lever, and a third group which are wired in parallel with a dog from the 2nd group, receiving shocks of identical intensity and duration, but his lever did not stop the shocks.To them, they were exposed to electric shock, regardless of what they are doing. They would just be treated with the same punishment. It was noticed that when they are placed in a new environment, the shock eventually did not affect the dogs anymore, there will still be the pain from the shock felt, and a physical reaction can still be gotten, but there was no more initiative to avoid the shock. In fact the just stayed put even if they knew they would be electrocuted, even if they could do something about it, they did not move.

Learned Helplessness. On of the theories why abused people don't do anything even if they bled physically and emotionally. In their minds is the idea, as learned from experience, that they are powerless against the abuser. "Anyway, even if I run away they will still find me" or "It doesn't matter, Nothing I do can change anything anyway, so why bother?"

These people succumb to their own helplessness and in effect, hopelessness. It causes people to not even try even when the solution is right in front of them. It's just sad because one might wonder what kind of total abuse could make another person give up his spirit. But this happens all too commonly. Not only in abusive relationships, but even in times when we have tried and tried to no avail. Sad and debilitating.

When we lose touch of our value, we lose the confidence to even try. This becomes a disability in that it limits what we can actually give and do with our lives, because of how we were treated or maltreated as per circumstance, in the past.

May God bless us and give us hope. Maybe it's time for a shift from helplessness to all-encompassing, ever-embracing love.

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Love always Hopes. Love Never Fails

I Scrolled Up and God It Hurts!

Curious, I scrolled up

To see what I wrote

And I remembered everything

as I scrolled up.

As I am writing this,

I am scrolling up.

Reading each line

one at a time.

I remember when

I wrote all these. How I'd

delete and rewrite and

delete and rewrite

and smile and cry

and smile, i and pray

and love and smile

and hope and despair

and hope again

and trust and pray

then smile

then hope and love

and love and love.

Then type

then delete and

type, and end

with a song and a

prayer.

Hope.

I came back and you left me.

Well who am I kidding

you were never really there.

But still, as I scroll up,

I realized how purely

I love you.

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"I am happiest with you."

I Didn't Know

How much do we really know about anybody? Can we tell what they are feeling, thinking, yearning, searching for after a few talks? a few engagements? How about a lot of talks? a lot of time spent together? Can we really have a clear idea of who a person is and derive a judgment about them even with a lifetime spent together? I don't think so.

What we can only be certain of, I believe, is what I feel, what I think, what I most desire at the moment.

In this concept of the present, I am sure and certain of what I want. Maybe this can be manifested in the smile I have on when I hear your voice, or the deep longing and feeling of missing you when you're out of reach, or the warmth I have in my heart when I know we're good. Or even when I submerge my brain in alcohol just to forget pain, anger, and feeling altogether. And so what if you knew, would you act the same?

If we make judgments before all things happen, and we do, doesn't that make any spontaneity just a waste of time? Can't I just trust the smiles and the warmth, and the peace I feel to say I am where I belong? The answer may either become I didn't know or I don't know. But the real answer lies in the truth experience brings. What I can only trust about you is what I always feel when I am with you. This is my only measure, apart from the infallible guidance of my Sovereign God.

The Sword of the Tongue

Words are powerful aren't they? Especially if they come from the mouth of people important. Be it good or bad, sensitive or not, pleasant or spiteful, there is a lot of meaning in words, especially if they are true but even if they're not.

Of course no one can really read minds, all that can be done is predict and assume. The only way our intentions come across are through what we express. Words are nothing compared to action. I can tell anyone anything. But when words become hurtful swords, they have the capacity to slice through flesh and heart and bone. And there's nothing anyone can do about it because they are words- formed by people to be quantify the fluidity of the mind and emotion so that it can be understood by anyone; clear as day they would become.

What hurts most are sword words that are laced with poison. The poison of insensitivity and condescension. The mockery that a person can drench his or her words with can turn even the sturdiest of hearts into rubble, pulverizing each attempt to reason with words heard because the clarity of the tone and tempo upon which they are spoken betrays any hope for redemption. What has been said can never be unsaid.

Hurtful words, insensitive words, malicious words, or the absence of words when they matter- these can really hack through the heart; especially if they are spoken by someone you love. These words can cripple the heart.

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They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.
Psalms 64:3

Missing You

you're in my mind again.
I wish I could just rip
your image off my head
so I can hold you tight.
:D